So much to do today and the only motivation I have is fear. I'd rather be motivated by the carrot than the stick. How can I make this more fun so I'll want to do it. Some of them are intrinsically fun things, like making a belly dancing costume or reading fiction. But I think my depression and repressed anger are taking the joy out of doing things that I normally love. That and having projects dumped on me by other people and also by living in a constant state of poverty and clutter. That I can scrape together any motivation at all is somewhat of a miracle. I'm a hypnotist. I should be the queen of motivation, right? I need to be my own role model. Then again maybe I just need an hour in someone's jacuzzi.
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