The Artist

It is rare that I have a dream that can be turned into a book or movie. This morning I had one of those. I dreamed I was in love with a handsome man who was older than me. I was about sixteen. Unfortunately, he was in love with my older sister and she was on drugs.  I went into the living room and they were having a fight. He caught her holding a big bottle of pills after she told him she had quit.  He grabbed the pills and set them on the end table. I was afraid they would wake up my father and he would come running in and find the pills too, so I grabbed the bottle when they weren't looking and hid it in the couch cushions. A while later I was sitting on the couch next to him.  I looked into his eyes and said, "You know I love you." And he sighed and said, "Yes I know."  Now I was the good sister who didn't do drugs.  And he chose her. My heart ached.

Fast forward to a night in an alley.  Somehow we were all working in an industrial area at night helping a restaurant pack things for shipping. And that handsome guy was there in the alley. So we were joking around and he turned and walked down the side of the building and I was following.  Then I stopped and walked away, expecting him to follow me back.  And I heard male footsteps, so I turned around and smiled, but it wasn't him at all.  Just a man who looked at me funny and turned and walked away. I yelled out, "Sorry I thought you were someone else." So I raced down the side of the building in the dark and 2 men are running towards me. They start to scale the wall. I hear more men coming.  I look at the man on the wall and he says, "What did you see." I yell back, "I didn't see anything."  He yells, "Get out of here." And I did.

Eventually I went around the other end of the industrial park and into the dark alley behind the buildings, searching for a place to hide if I had to. My love was nowhere to be found. I turned to go and a homeless guy walked by.  "Find anything?" he said.  "Nothing." I said.  "But good luck."

Years passed. I was still working in the industrial park.  Someone yelled out that someone at the job had something to give us, so my sister and I walked over. I thought the woman was holding two awards, but they were 3 dimensional books that came for us.  And they were the art of the guy we were both in love with. I was happy because it proved he was still alive. Somehow he'd made it big after that night he had disappeared.

Kind of a bitter sweet ending don't you think?

F.Z. Harper @2014

Wish I Would Get Well

I stayed home sick today. For most of the day I felt somewhat better, but now  my throat is so raw. I'm going to take something for the pain and swelling and then lay down and hope I can sleep at least a few hours.

I watched the movie Mermaid with Cher in an effort to take my mind off of things. I'd forgotten the plot so it was like watching it anew. My lover made sure I was well taken care of before he went to bed for the night. He made me tea with honey. He did what he could. Earlier we covered the chicken coop with a tarp and put things away that could be damaged by the rain that is expected. I did hear some wind gusts so I think things are picking up out there. Just hope the rain doesn't wake me up. I really need my sleep.

This was taken last Saturday before I got sick.

Calling It Quits Folks

Calling It Quits Folks

Stick a fork in me, I’m done.

After many years of blogging I’m calling it quits. I've done everything I know to build a following.

I follow a lot of blogs and they all have fans and readers that leave comments and participate and even buy things from them. I constantly promote the works of others, but there is no reciprocation.

After spending thousands of hours and taking thousands of photos the task has expanded to eat up large portions of my day. I have over 70 blogs, and 3 of them are daily blogs. I’m going to take all that time I used to spend blogging and use it on things like writing novels, sewing a new wardrobe, and making things to sell. I’m sure I can find something to do with all that time.

I’m leaving my blogs up, since I’m sure they’ll be useful to someone from time to time. And every now and then I may miss it and make a few new posts. I don’t think anyone will notice one way or the other if I blog or don’t blog. When all is said and done, I think it only mattered to me. 

Craft Shopping Spree

Sometimes it is hard for me to just let go and enjoy myself. Every time I buy ANYTHING I feel guilty and it sucks the fun out of it. It's a catch 22 where I need things to make art and feed my creative soul, and then I feel horribly guilty afterwards. I vacillate between these two extremes and it isn't fun at all. I do shop the sales through and that eases the guilt a little. I just sold a T-shirt I'd designed on Zazzle too and that helps.

You know my boyfriend's mom died unexpectedly and suddenly, so when I am teetering between buying something I want but don't need, I remember her. If I postpone pleasure day after day, year after  year, I may not get another chance to get those things while I'm still in sound mind and body to use them. So I've set myself up to feel bad when I do buy something and also to feel bad when I don't.

I don't wear crosses, I wear ankhs. And I rarely run across them in ordinary stores.
So when I saw this one for half off I had to get it.

Beads, thread and hook for a snood.

Eyes for a bunny I'm knitting.

I'd like to get back into making sock monkeys again, and this book has other sock animals and dolls too.
I couldn't resist.

If I'm going to get the book it only makes sense to get the socks.

Since I was going to be in the mall all day, I bought a sketchbook to come up with new embroidery designs.
I could have brought one from home, but I didn't think of that until I was away from home.

Weaving needles. I put off buying them the last 3 times I went to the store.
This time I just bought the stupid things.

I've been waiting a month for this yarn to go on sale so I could knit a sweater.
I had to get five of them and I'm still not sure that will be enough.

I'd shop a lot less if I wasn't multi-talented. Like if I only knitted. Or I only made jewelry. I envy my friends that only make one thing. I'm just not wired that way though.

A Quick Daily Post

Between Thanksgiving and finishing the Nanowrimo challenge I've really gotten behind on blogging. Bear with me as I try to get the train back on the track.

Right now I'm getting ready to go shopping in Victorville so I'm pretty excited. Looking for black cherry hair dye and lipstick. If they don't have it I'll have to order it from Amazon.

Rainy day yesterday and a pretty wet morning today. We need it and it is nice to have a new kind of weather because it's been the same ole same ole for months now.

I've been busy working on my mood afghan and my new fitness goal. I'm taking the hours I was putting into writing the Nano novel into belly dancing and working out. So that's hopefully going to help with my fitness this month.

Got milk?

Daily Moon Afghan.

Me at the park.